I have been on a roller coaster to say the least these past few weeks! My hormones have been out of waak and I just wanted a break! I wanted to complain about everything, I had no patience left for anything and anyone. Then I sat down and listened, finally listened to my savior. He has been trying to speak to me for weeks, but I was shutting Him out, telling Him (without realizing it) that "I didn't need Him, I can do it all on my own." Well we all know where that ends of--rock bottom? Well,not quite,I opened my ears just before falling all the way. He caught me so to speak before I fall...
Five nights ago, I was sitting on the couch watching an episode of House MD with SuperDaddy. (we loved that show; yes past tense is correct) The Holy Spirit started talking to me, I tried to ignore Him, but He kept getting louder and louder. What the Lord told me that night I will never forget. "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." -1 John 2:15 "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. "-John 15:19
So as I began to listen to Him, I finally started to grasp what He was telling me. Did I like it? Did I want to obey what He was telling me? Did I want to do what the flesh wanted? Of course I wanted it my way! I struggled and struggled with my "new" revelations. I did not want to share them with SuperDaddy because then things would have to change. You see, it was more than just watching House MD that had to change. SuperDaddy and I were talking the Christian life, but we were not walking the Christian life in every aspect of our life. Yes, we went to church every sunday, prayed daily for one another and others, and occasionally read from our bibles. It some eyes we were doing it all "right". But NO! We were not! We were living in this world, being a part of the World! And my Lord told me that it has got to stop!! Not only does House MD go, so does the poor eating habits, the irritibilty, impatience, dishonesty with myself, and the lack of exercise must be done away with. For it is written, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." - 1 Corinthians 19-20 The Lord wants my everything, not just bits and pieces of my life, He wants me to "take up my cross daily and follow Him, For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Jesus will save it." -Luke 9 23-24 My Lord wants me to serve Him wholeheartedly with a purpose, not haphazardly living for the world. So that night after the House MD episode finished, SuperDaddy and I got into bed and I began to share with him what the Holy Spirit had said. "Honey, the Lord spoke to me tonight." "Yes, dear." "He said (as in the Holy Spirit) we need to stop watching House, get rid of all our movies that dishonor the Lord, we must choose to eat healthy, excercise, pray for more patience with each other and Little Peanut. We must deny the world and take up our cross and follow Jesus daily." I couldn't believe my ears! God is so right! We have been so wrapped up in life, we were forgetting the most important part of life-our relationship with the Lord! From that night on we have been more focused on our Lord, our marriage, and being parents to Little Peanut. God has given me so much Joy these last few days I'm overflowing! I look at my little Peanut with so much gratification and Joy it's unreal that only a week ago I was fed up with this needy baby! She is not a needy baby, she is my little bundle of Joy, she is an answer to one of my many prayers. She is my baby girl, she is my daughter. And I pray that I will be a loving, patient, and compassionate mother to her!
Thank you Jesus for this wonderful life you have graciously given me. I do not deserve such a life as this! A Wonderful loving, caring, and patient husband and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. I look at her and my heart melts! I love my family and I love my Lord!!!
