Thursday, August 26, 2010

Tears came to my eyes...

Today I was having a hard time to say the least.  These  past few days I have been extremely tired beyond exhauastion.  Little Peanut would cry and just want her mommy.  I just wanted sleep!  And If I couldn't sleep I wanted to clean my ever so dirty house.  But, as you mothers know, Peanut would not settle down until she got her mommy.  When she was crying, I did something two days in a row, that I wish I could take back.  I screamed at her to "stop crying".  It hurts my heart knowing that I screamed at my sweet inocent baby.  I'm tired not getting things done, I'm tired of SuperDaddy's busy schedule, I'm tired of Peanut's neediness, I'm tired of being tired!  I complained all evening to my girlfriend how I just want things different.  I want SuperDaddy home more, I want Little Peanut to be less needy, and I want to be more focused on the important things in life.  Well, I sat down to spend time with My Lord and after so I read a post from MckMama on her blog.  It brought tears to my eyes.  It is exactly how I want to me as a mother.  I want to not care that the dishes are piling up because my daughter asked to hold her, I want to have patience with SuperDaddy when he works late and I have the children; tired, exhausted; yet patient and loving.  O, Lord, I pray, please grant me the patience and remind me daily of the importance of motherhood and being a godly wife to my husband.  Thank you for this post from MckMama and showing me my faults and where I need to change.  I pray for strength, endurance, patience, and the will to be the mother I've always hoped I could be.  Thank you Lord for everything.  Thank you for my beautiful needy baby and my overly busy husband. For these are moments I am gonna miss! 

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 much you love someone...when he's away... it hurts

I've been missing SuperDaddy a great deal this week and the anticipation of next week.  This week he is in Michigan working on a school IT project, next week he goes to FL for training in a certain thing. IT goes over my head, something about VMWare, I think.
 He is a busy man at work(and home for that matter); very talented and everyone and their brother comes to him to "fix" all the problems at work.  It's hard at times, but I'm thankful that he has a job. On these long stretches of him being away from us, I must stop and remember "it's only for a short time."  There's many husbands who are gone in the military, driving truck, and some flying planes that make long stretches the norm.  I am very thankful my husband's job is not that.
Moreover, I do have to say that I have an incredible relationship with SuperDaddy.  God has truly blessed us with a way of being one together.  We have been married for almost a year and a half and still have not had one fight.  We just don't see a reason to argue, fight, or cause turmoil in our home.  Yes, we have our disagreements, but we usually end up agreeing to disagree on those things.  This being said, our home is a loving, quiet place to be together.  I love him so much and it literally hurts to be away from him for this amount of time. When he's not here, there is a void in the home, in the bed, and a void in a part of me until he returns.  I've never loved any other human as much as I love him.  No one on earth has shown me unconditional love as he does.  Someone once told me that being co-dependent in a marraige is unhealthy.  I strongly disagree!!  SuperDaddy and I are mutually dependent on each other and proud of it!!  He's my husband, my knight in shining armor, my hero.  I love him and pray for him daily, and when he's away I pray that our Lord will return him home safely to us. 

Thank you Lord Jesus for such a loving husband and father to little peanut...