Friday, April 23, 2010


I must explain the title of my blog... Have I learned the secret of being content?  I know the secret of being content is having faith in Christ for everything, yet I want to be honest with myself and my readers.  I fall short of this often.
Little Peanut has not been doing well these past few weeks.  Last week, she had some virus (GI related-at least that's what the docs thought), this week she has an ear infection, and now after being on antibiotics for 5 days, she is still fussy.  I took her in for her  2 month appointment today and the doc says, "she may have colic."  And is this what I wanted to hear?  Absolutely not!  I didn't even know what colic was, I thought it was a word they used when they couldn't find out what was wrong.  However, the doc explained to me what this colic thing is all about.  Some babies have an "immature" GI system.  If I'm understanding it correctly, her stomach and intestines are not absorbing some proteins very well yet.  Thus causing her to be in pain, fuss most of the time, and like excessive movement (i.e. the bouncy ball-the only way my husband can hold her) It might take a while for her fussiness to subside until her system is "mature" enough to absorb the proteins.  So why am I talking about Peanut's fussiness in a contentment post?  Simply put, it's exhausting...I love children, my inmost desire is to be a mother, I've worked with children for 10+ years and there's just something about children that makes my world go round. And in February, the Gracious Lord granted me the wonderful gift of motherhood.  I tell you this, so that it is known that I love my baby girl so very much, yet at times, I have a desire to be selfish and want my little girl to stop crying, to just take a break from her fussiness. I want my husband to come home to hold her, take care of her, and bounce on the ball-to do it for me!  In theses moments, I find myself un-contented.  (I don't know if that is a word, but it is now!)  I just want what I want...However God has bigger plans for us and the trials we go through.  I've been working on a bible study called "Walking by Faith" by Jennifer Rothschild, and what God is showing me is immeasurable.  Here is a paragraph written by Jennifer...
"I once thought of faith as a recipe for getting what I wanted from God.  If that were true, it would mean that if I could muster enough faith, I would no longer be blind.  But faith is not meant to offer an escape from life's difficulties; its purpose is to give us strength in the midst of them.  God allows hardship because of His great mercy and love for us,"

God taught Jennifer thru her blindness and put it in the right perspective.  It's not about what we can get from God, it's about what God is teaching us through the trials in our lives.  Yes, Peanut's fussiness is a trial, but it is something that the Lord is using for His glory!  It may be difficult at times having a baby, but I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything.  With God's strength,  Peanut and I are doing wonderul! 

Going back to the title of this post and my blog, contentment... It's easy to be discontent, but when you go back to Jesus, He always puts things back into the right perspective! 

Thank you Jesus for everything you do and give us!