Tonight we were at JoJo's Jungle; kids and families were everywhere. It broke my heart to see teenagers smashing around on the young kids equipment. Another group of teenagers running through and jumping off the butterfly garden to the seat wall across the way; for what reason; I don't know. And Another set of teen girls trying to slide down a slide built for a 6 month old. People smoking and vaping inside the playground. Girls flaunting their bodies and speaking inappropriately. I didn't just see teenagers disrespecting a playground. What I saw was my son's legacy; the thing we poured our life into for the last 5 years; being disrespected and trampled. My mama heart was hurting. As I took in the disrespect all around, I couldn't help but think about what our heavenly father thinks when he looks down at his creation and sees what is happening in our culture today. And yet our Heavenly Father sent HIS SON to live a perfect life and be ridiculed, beaten, and killed for our salvation. As Jesus hung on that cross and took said His final words, "it is finished." What an amazing free gift given by a loving just God. This realization brought comfort to my hurting heart when I saw so much trampling of JoJo's Jungle tonight. I wish I could say I quietly sat there and said not a word. But I didn't. My hurting heart, went up to the boys running through the milk weed garden and I yelled at them; Boys'; "I have watched enough disrespect-You need to get down; We didn't pour 5 years into this project to watch you destroy it." I immediately regretted saying anything to the boys. I promised myself that after we handed the park over to the city, I wouldn't "police" it. I didn't want to but my heart was hurting. Was it right or wrong to tell the boys to stop? That's not my point. Speaking up brought attention onto myself, my family, and JoJo's legacy. If anyone knows me, I do not like attention or being in the spotlight. Which is one major reason I couldn't bring myself to speak at the grand opening. Again that could be right or wrong. Moreover, What I am trying to say is I'm sorry for speaking up tonight and yelling at those teen boys. I'm sorry for yelling at the playground and making it uncomfortable for some. I should have left it as it was. So they killed milkweed, strawberries, multiple caterpillars and made some of the park look bad; but worse; I gave into satan lies. I feel like I can't go back and enjoy watching families of different abilities play alongside each other because of the disrespect all over the park. Because I gave in to the temptation of "policing" the landscaping; I lost the joy of the purpose of the park. I dread going back. It hurts my mama heart to see so much disrespect. We created this playground to fill a need in the community. A place for all with any ability to play alongside their friends, family, and siblings. A place where they could feel boundless. The Lord blessed our dream and made it a reality. I need prayer for growth and maturity, to not let the disrespect of a few ruin the joy that JoJo's Jungle can bring to many families in our community. Tonight when I saw all the disrespect; I cried inside. Before JoJo passed away, we made a promise to him; a promise to make a playground that all his friends and family could play alongside one another and feel boundless. I would give anything to have my boy back even if that meant JoJo's Jungle never existed. There is nothing that prepares a mama's heart to losing a son. It’s been 5.5 years...5.5 years since I held you...5.5 years since I kissed your soft face...5.5 years since we heard your giggle and watched you bounce excitedly. 5.5 years since you were here with us. Little buddy. I miss you. There isn’t a day that passes that my heart doesn’t hurt that you are not here with us. Little buddy, I miss you. Oh how time passed doesn’t take away the pain of loss. You brought so much joy into our world,home, and life. I’m thankful you are with Jesus pain free and boundless. You are not confined to the limitations your earthly body gave you while you were here with us.
Would you destroy someone gravesite? That's what I felt tonight. There could be a thousand people praising the park and our efforts but this experience was so devastating to my heart. I know it's just a Park. I get it. But to me; my heart is hurting because I realized my JoJo would never be here ( I know he is with Jesus in Heaven-far better place than here.) My four year old has been saying when the park opens, JoJo will come home. Oh, the mind of a young child. But as I process what happened tonight; I felt the same way. JoJo will never be at JoJo's Jungle. He has a much grander park up in heaven to play on! I also realized most people going to JoJo's Jungle will never realize the depth of our loss and magnitude of our pain as they play on his jungle. They don't have to; we didn't build the park for recognition of our loss or pain. But it does hurt watching it be disrespected by those same people that will never understand the depth of the pain and loss. The park wasn't for us. We built the playground for this community and to proclaim God's goodness and His salvation through Jesus Christ. God loves us all and forgives everyone. My mama heart needs to forgive, let go, and continue to praise God for what He will do with JoJo's Jungle for His glory!
